A grade school classmate recently messaged me saying that she always thought I was “unshakeable” and had everything under control. I wish I could take credit for that kind of superheroine power.
The fact is, people always think you look more confident than them when, really, it’s all a matter of perception.
Secondly, it’s just not possible to be ‘in control’ of every situation that arises. But, life’s bumps and nudges have taught me how to build resilience.
And one of the secrets I’ve learned about resilience in the face of adversity is to change the things you can and let go of the things you can’t change. Stop me if you’ve heard that before.
I’m sure you’ll agree that letting go of those things that really get under your skin can be a pretty tall order at times. Doing so has helped me stay mentally and emotionally balanced more often than not.
What is Resilience?
I’ve noticed that resilience has become a hot topic over the last few years especially. It’s not surprising that two of the most frequently searched phrases in Google related to the subject are resilience in the workplace and resilience during the pandemic.
Simply put, resilience is the ability to adapt to stressful situations. It’s bouncing back from a trauma like a job loss, illness, or loved one’s death.
Resilient people get knocked down but they get up again psychologically, emotionally and even physically stronger. Another way to think of resilience is perseverance, grit, and determination.
Related: What is Resilience? Your Guide to Facing Life’s Challenges
Why is Building Resilience Important?
There are many reasons resilience plays such an important role in our daily lives. According to PositivePsychology.com, the main benefits are:
· The experience of more positive emotions and better regulation of negative emotions
· Less depressive symptoms
· Greater resistance to stress
· Better coping with stress, through enhanced problem-solving, a positive orientation, and re-evaluation of stressors
· Successful aging and improved sense of well-being despite age-related challenges
TED Talk: The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong
How to Build Resilience
Alright, now you have a clearer understanding about what resilience is and how it can help you. What about how to be more mentally resilient and build emotional toughness?
I like the concept used by scientists who study stress and resilience. They say it’s important to think of resilience as an emotional muscle that can be strengthened at any time. So, use it or lose it.
And take heart, resiliency isn’t strictly hereditary. You can learn how to build resilience to prepare you for those difficult times and even steps you can take during and after a crisis.
10 Ways to be Resilient to Stress
What are some strategies that resilient people share? I’ve rounded up what I think are some of the best tips about how to build resilience, many that I teach and practice myself.
1. Stay Positive
It’s all too easy to veer from negative to catastrophic thinking. Break the chain with positive self-talk, humour, music or exercise to let the brain’s endorphins lighten your load. You’ll discover the power of positivity isn’t a cliché.
Related: 11 Ways to Plug Into the Power of Positive Thinking
2. Be Grateful
I’ve made it a habit to think of three things to be grateful for each day. They can be as simple as a beautiful sunrise, long walk in a park, or the joy of feeling well rested. Take a good look around you and count the blessings.
Related: How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain
3. Stay Connected
A social network can be a real life saver. For me, a heart-felt conversation with a friend or even extending a random act of kindness to strangers has been therapeutic or fun or both. Reach out. You’ll be doing at least two people a favour.
Related: 6 Reasons Why a Circle of Friends Can Improve Your Life
4. Face Your Fears
Whenever fear raises its ugly head, I remind myself that we’re not given anything in this life that we can’t handle. Like a mantra this belief gives me the strength to deal with fear-filled situations, many created by my own imagination.
Related: How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety in 5 Brave Ways
5. Write It Down
Journaling is about you and your truth. I find it a practical and powerful way to sort out thoughts and feelings. There’s something about physically transferring confusion into concrete words on a page that can give me a clearer view of the situation.
Related: Why Journal Writing Can Heighten Your Self-Awareness
6. Meditate On It
When we meditate, we get in touch with our truest self. That’s when we can start to make sense of a troubling situation. Mindfulness meditation teaches how to harness the power of the breath and its connection to emotion and thought.
Related: Mindfulness Meditation for Beginners that Heals and Energizes
7. Embrace Change
Like they say, the only constant is change. The secret is to be open to it. In this fast-changing world there’s plenty of things that we can’t change. Knowing this and knowing what we can change will also be our saving grace.
Related: What You Ought to Know About Personal Change Management
8. Set Goals
Goals are good. We need them to accomplish the things we want to achieve. They can also help make order out of confusion. So it’s important to have the stability of goals to keep an eye on the horizon during days of uncertainty.
Related: 8 Goal Setting Secrets to Get What You Want
9. Nurture Yourself
Browbeating ourselves in times of turmoil is typical. It’s also counterproductive. That’s when we really need to practice self-compassion. There’s everything to be gained by giving ourselves a break and a reward. Go for a run. Take the day off. Be good to yourself.
Related: Get Natural Stress Relief from Reiki Healing
10. Get Passionate
No, I don’t mean that kind of passion (although, it probably couldn’t hurt). When you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of despair, try to make time to consider the bigger picture. Will your predicament matter in a week, month or year? Reconnect with your life journey and keep it all in perspective.
Related: 7 Really Important Clues to Finding Your Passion in Life
Bouncing Back from the Brink
Resiliency is how we accept and adjust to change and improve our well-being. When we learn how to build resilience by keeping our emotional muscles toned up, the easier we can roll with the punches when times get tough.
You Might Also Like:
· 5 Top Reasons Resilience At Work Matters
· My Big List of Health and Wellness Resources
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