In the light of day, most fears are irrational. They create angst about clowns. Or instill a dread of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
Then there are everyday garden-variety jitters. They too may loom large. That belief can stop us in our tracks, sabotage our desires, and stifle our enjoyment of life. But it doesn’t have to.
How can we deal with our anxiety, whether it’s related to asking for a raise or dealing with difficult people?
The late author Susan Jeffers wrote a landmark book that urged readers to feel the fear and do it anyway. She has shared truths about fear among many other insights and affirmations that have helped show millions how to overcome fear and anxiety.
Lack of Confidence
Fears stem from the lack of confidence in your ability to successfully deal with a perceived threat. They can arise from a person’s tendency to be a perfectionist. They can be the result of a victim mentality. More commonly, it’s simply fear of the unknown.
Whatever the cause, I firmly believe that we’re not given anything in this life that we can’t handle. From my experience, this belief gives me the strength to deal with tough situations like how to overcome fear. That’s not to say I’m completely fearless, but it does give me some peace of mind!
TED Talk: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals
How to Overcome Fear
No matter what scares you there are ways to effectively cope with anxiety and be more confident, for instance:
1. Do a reality check
When faced with a situation that intimidates you, force your fears to come out of the shadows. Start with this statement: I’m afraid of (name the fear) because (predict the outcome). Gather your facts, then ask yourself if the imagined outcome has any validity. Anticipating what could happen is at the root of many fears.
2. Stop yourself
Say ‘stop’ when you feel panic setting in. A simple action like this can break the stream of fearful thoughts that may have gripped you. It’s a useful mindfulness technique that brings you back to the present. Don’t focus on the panic, focus on a solution. In other words, affirm what you want to happen with positive words and thoughts.
3. Trust your gut
I covered this subject in my blog post about tapping into your intuition. Listening to your heart, head, and especially your gut, can show you your true feelings. Once you begin accessing that inner guidance, it becomes easier to separate what’s real from what’s imagined or not known. Most importantly, your body always knows what’s right for you.
4. Take a risk
Test yourself by stepping outside your comfort zone on a regular basis. It should be something that gives you a tantalizing tingle of success and helps build your self-confidence. Try an activity that’s always interested you but you’ve never given yourself permission to do. What’s the worst that can happen?
5. Borrow some bravery
Ever wish you could speak in front of an audience or overcome a constant fear of losing your job? If you find yourself thwarted by thoughts of this kind, think about what someone you admire would do. How do they handle seemingly daunting tasks? What advice would they give you?
Some Assembly Required
So in conclusion, feel the fear, certainly. But seeing the absurdity of most fears can take the edge off. As humourist Dave Barry points out, "All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears – of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "some assembly required."
You Might Also Like These
• Tips for Overcoming Fear
• How to Overcome Your Fears (best TED Talks)
• My Big List of Health and Wellness Resources
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