Whether you’re new to the workforce or you’re a seasoned employee, professional and personal boundaries are critical. Setting boundaries on the job helps balance your needs and responsibilities.
Boundaries encourage better confidence, productivity, and social dynamics, too. But to make those happen, you have to know your limits.
That responsibility starts with knowing your own values. How much conflict and stress are you willing to endure if you’re working long hours and value family life?
What kind of environment do you thrive in: one that encourages initiative or one that expects you to follow rules to the letter?
Setting Boundaries that Work
Setting boundaries takes time, practice, and patience. Try these seven steps to build the kind of professional and personal boundaries that work for you:
1. Be intuitive
Listen to your heart, head, and gut. They’re all part of an inner guidance system that works closely together to help you make choices.
If you listen carefully, you’ll sense what they’re telling you whenever you face a situation. Learn to trust your intuitive thinking and try practicing meditation and breathing techniques to calm your mind and body.
2. Be non-judgmental
Take a neutral approach toward your actions and reactions. That is to say, momentarily suspend your judgement until all the facts are in.
It’s easy to feel you’ve made an irreversible mistake and you’ve alienated a co-worker or insulted your manager. We often (incorrectly) think worst case scenario.
But you’ll find others are forgiving, especially once they know what your boundaries are and realize your intentions were positive.
3. Be assertive
When you don’t draw the line with co-workers, you risk attracting those who may be needy for attention or disrespect others who have weak boundaries.
So let others know where you stand in a tactful but assertive way that you don’t tolerate tasteless humour, gossip, or personal topics you find objectionable.
If co-workers are constantly interrupting you to chat, for example, maybe you need to close your office door with a polite explanation. Using humour helps, too.
4. Be prompt
When a co-worker crosses one of your boundaries, let them know. Don’t delay any longer than necessary, otherwise time can blur the memory (and heighten your anxiety). Take them aside and explain how their behaviour affected you.
Don’t personalize your comments by making them the target (i.e. You made me angry!), but address the subject in a factual, clear, and positive manner.
Setting boundaries at the office
5. Be realistic
Know how much work you can effectively do to get the job done and if you need help as a deadline looms, talk it over with your manager. It’s natural to want to meet every deadline to the best of your ability, but sometimes it’s just not possible.
Or when meetings distract you from getting work done, state what you need i.e. time to complete a project. Check in with co-workers later on important issues you may have missed as well.
6. Be (a little) selfish
Practice saying no - this is a big one - to regularly working late, routinely taking work home, or being reachable at all hours outside of work.
Make a point, too, of taking breaks each day (including a full lunch break) and plan ahead to book vacation time every year.
Most importantly, breaks are vital to revive you mentally and physically and to restore your creative energy.
7. Be flexible
Your professional and personal boundaries should be guidelines rather than carved in stone. There may be times when it’s necessary to work late on an important project, for example. Your manager may reciprocate by letting you leave early for your child’s school event or an eldercare situation.
It should work both ways so you can find a comfortable balancing point between your personal life and responsibilities and the demands of your job.
Expect A Win-Win
Above all, practice setting boundaries as a win-win proposition. You’ll be happier, healthier, and more productive for it.
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